A new revelation every day that keeps me going

A new thought process on how I think and pray

He is there listening, and the answer is yes!

      I just had a crazy past 24hrs, and through it all God was there again as He will be always. I was coming to the end of my stay here at my current residence and I still have no job, or a permanent place to stay. I came to the realization after talking to the wonderful people here that I have till Tuesday to find a new place. So there I was I knew it was coming but it was still like a train wreck of emotions coming in a matter of minutes. In my mind I knew God had a place for me, but then the thoughts of homeless, and living in my car flooded in and started to choke the very thoughts that I knew were true. My mind started going places that weren’t Godly, and I couldn’t understand why it was becoming hard again. When I know I’m in Gods will, and that this is where He wants me to be, why are things taking so long to be accomplished? Why were things becoming hard when every day I get a new revelation as to what God wants for my life?

      I called my parents because I needed someone to tell me it was going to be o.k. I needed something or someone to put my head back on strait. As I talked to my parents, tears flooded down my cheek, emotions came to the surface as I had another realization that besides God and the friends I have here, I am alone. No longer do I have my parent’s right there to give me a hug and tell me it’s ok. No longer when I reach a situation can I pass it onto them for them to sort out, all I have are phone calls. As I talked with my mom I wanted just a mom hug, it’s a feeling of security and strength even in their weakness, it’s a feeling that gives you the strength to walk with your head held high. Here I was huddled in a chair, crying like I haven’t in a couple weeks thinking that in less than a week I’d be homeless. 

     I got off the phone and I knew then what I should have done in the first place. I closed facebook and every other window I had opened, shut down my computer and fell on my knees. All I knew at that point was to just say God I need your help, help me please I need your help. That’s all I could get out, I prayed for housing but still inside I was feeling destroyed. Jesse Duplantis tells of a time he was conversing with God, when God said is he going let his faith stagnate. That rang in my mind, was I letting my faith stagnate, jumping onto cruise control and just coasting.  I lay in bed and immediately thought of my friend, he’s in a house, rent free, for as long as he wants. And here I am facing one of the biggest things in my life so far to deal with. Why couldn’t I have been blessed that much too where I was care free pretty much. Why couldn’t God bless me with something so easy for Him to do? What one of my instructors said immediately came into mind. And it’s something that I put in a previous blog. I was getting jealous over another man’s blessing. After that came into my mind I prayed and asked God’s forgiveness for my selfish actions, and thanked God for blessing my friend and that the same or better blessing would come my way. I was finally able to sleep, and woke up this morning ready to start asking people for available housing.

         I went through the first hour thinking of who all I could ask, and who all I could connect with. All while listening to Andrew Wommack talking about finances and giving during tough times. I already had 100 fold return of giving, and been repaid 100 fold from the devils theft of money through sickness and needing of medication through an unexpected card in the mail including the combined total of each. So I knew giving and returns worked, but here I was, with my money even tighter, and being called to trust God even more with my finances. Almost reluctant, yet fully believing on a full return, above and beyond I gave because I knew God would honor it. Now Andrew wasn’t trying to take what money people have, He has a lesson that talks about how giving to God is the easiest thing to do, and it takes the littlest amount of faith for God to increase.

    I talked to a few people, put a note on the bulletin board and started walking toward my class when a lady who I met during campus days said hi and asked how I was doing. I hesitated to say the full story, but how are you going to get the word out if you don’t share? How are people going to pray for your situation and back you up if they don’t know? I told her everything and didn’t really know where it would lead. She then encouraged me and backed me up in faith, I was still feeling down until she encouraged me. I had a ‘wow’ moment of why God says to fellowship with people who will encourage and keep you strong in the faith. I walked toward my class with my head held higher and my heart reset on the goal at hand.

    The third hour of school was filled with more teachings, but a part stood out among the rest. Greg Mohr started talking about how we pray for things we need. Often times we find ourselves coming to God and only asking for enough to cover our needs, instead of asking for more. When we ask God for things that we need, why don’t we pray for so much increase that we can them bless someone else with our overflow. That hit me hard, I was just praying for my needs. He said that when we only pray for our needs we really our being selfish to what God can do, that our blessing is only that, ours.

    By the end of the third hour I was set on getting a place by the time I left that building, I had another opportunity to volunteer in the production department, but I didn’t have to be there till 12:30. I walked into the student service room, and walked out with a temporary housing, and a possible permanent one. Only through Gods guidance and direction.

    It’s crazy how God works, He doesn’t work in mysterious ways, He just works in ways that are easy to see and understand. I walked back toward the production department, no longer in desperate need of housing, no longer worried or stressed over what I’m going to do. I sit down to start working and right in front of me was a tv and cd series that Andrew has called, “you already have it.” I couldn’t help but smile and get a little emotional over the fact that I already had what I was asking God for last night. Why was I so worried and distraught over everything?  Again I know every day that this is where I need to be, this is where God has called me to be. Through the struggles and difficulties I know God has my steps ordered, He knows everything that I need and so much more. Every day I walk out of the school with a different level of understanding. I can’t wait to see the full picture of where God is leading me, but I know wherever He takes me, I know I will be provided for above and beyond my actual needs. So then I can take all I’ve learned and all I know and invest in someone else’s life. And dont forget that the same feeling I get from a hug from my mom or dad, you and I can get from our heavenly father. He's there stretching out his arms welcoming you under His comforting and protectinve wings. Thanks again for reading and I pray that God will bless you through reading this, as much as God has blessed me to write it. 

Jesus talks about the lost son

Jesus talks about the parable of the lost son.
Week 2

            As I start my second week in Charis Bible College I’m in awe of what I know I’m going to learn. Through the teachings and the work that they have us do, I feel so blessed to have such a great opportunity from God. A guest speaker Jessie Duplantis was there last night at my church, and this morning at the college. What he shared was incredible and such a message from God. He shared many things, almost too much to write down but not to take to heart. Through everything that was said, it was understandable, and true to whom God really is.
        
           He asked husbands and wife’s if they have ever bought anything for each other or their children that the other person didn’t need. Then he asked grandparent if they have ever bought their grandkids anything they didn’t need. Everybody raised their hand. Now you may ask, why he would ask something like that. We buy things for people we love, we know they may not need it but we know how much they want it. Then he said something that is so true. If we buy things for the people that we love, even if we don’t need it. Why can’t God be like us, why can’t He be a father that loves us and wants to bless us with things? We are called His children, why don’t we call Him our father?  If we do call God our father, why is He only a God of judgment and wrath? That doesn’t sound like a father that sounds like an abuser. God wants to bless us with what we want so we never have a need. When we ask God for things it’s not being prideful, we are simply His children coming to our father. And if someone says asking God for things is prideful. Say it could be growth. When I say growth I’m not talking about growth in the eyes of man. Because then we will become prideful with all we have and lose sight on what Gods plan is.

         Jessie taught today of the parable of the lost son. If you don’t know the story it starts off with Jesus talking about a man with two sons, the younger son asked his father to give him his share of his father estate. The son’s father then divided his property between both sons. Later on the youngest son gathered all he had, set off towards a distant land, and lost all he had worthless living. After the son had spent all he had there was a severe famine in the land. He later came to his senses and thought he could get a job working for his father, because he felt unworthy to be called his father’s son. As the son was still a far way out his father saw him coming in the distance and ran to him, and embraced him. In Luke chapter 15 verse 21 we see the son’s response to his father’s actions “The son said to him, ‘father I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” But instead of being angry with his son the father said in the following verse, “Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fatted calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is now found.” What would your first reaction be if your son came home after being gone, and told you he lost every penny that you had given him? My first reaction would be anger; here is my son who did nothing but waist all I’ve given him on worthless earthly things. But no the father throws a celebration for him, gives him the best robe he has, puts a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet, and kills the best calf he has for the meal.
       
             You may be asking or wondering if you don’t know the story where the eldest son is during all this, you may think he is celebrating too because his brother has returned. No, he is outside in the field angry. His little brother comes home after spending his riches on ‘prostitutes’ as he says and his father throws him a party. When all this time he the older son has spent his life following his father and obeying his every order, never got a party. In verse 31 the father reply’s to the older son, he says “my son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is now alive again; he was lost and is now found.”

             Now here is where my question comes in. Jesus himself told us this parable.  Why is it that when someone close to us falls away from God, do we think there is no help for them? Why do we kick them to the curb and forget about them instead of going to them and helping them with their fall. Also, when we see someone get a raise or bonus on a job, or someone who is healed of a sickness do we feel selfish, because you may be asking for the same thing? Why can’t we be blessed by their blessing? When you see someone’s gain, you never lose.  Why is it when a friend says he got a job after waiting a long time do we say ‘man that’s a blessing’ even when we don’t mean it? Why can’t we give them a high five and celebrate even though you may have waited longer and may still be waiting for a job? As I said before you can never lose with someone else’s gain, you can celebrate with them, then feed off of it by saying Father thank you for blessing them with a job, thank you for the job that you have provided for me, bless me as much as you have blessed them. Let God be the loving Father He wants to be, let Him bless you with things you may not need, but want. Let God give you rest as it says in Psalms 23. Thanks for reading and I hope God blesses you with an abundance of joy and rest as much as He is showing me.

Day 2, trip across america

Day 2
our journey across America

As I sit here in my dad’s truck, riding along going 60 down I-80 I started to think. Before we left my dad and I were talking and he mentioned how it wasn’t easy to figure out how we were going to pack up my stuff and just leave.  I told him try moving 1300 miles away from your family and friends, when I said that I got a little choked up. I am moving 1300 miles away from everyone I know, and from an area that I’ve grown up all my life in. And my dad was right it was not easy. I went and grabbed a few more things to load into the truck, and when I got back he told me that in the bible God told Abraham to leave his family and move away, God didn’t tell him where he was going. God simply told him to leave, so Abraham did. Abraham packed up all his things, told his wife and they left. Abraham had to have such a huge faith in God to just leave, he had to be so involved in doing what God wanted him to do to leave everyone he knew and the area he knew. My dad then said at least we know where we’re going, that was very true.

           God placed on my heart a year ago after dealing with struggles and coming out closer to God to help those who have the same struggles. To help teens figure out whom they are in Christ, and to help them deal with past or currant problems. I didn’t think I was worth anything because I saw my life going nowhere, I was entering my senior year of high school thinking I was going to work in a factory, lead a boring terrible life, and never have what my heart desires for. I was blaming God for everything I was going through, expecting my life to be easy. I didn’t want to blame myself for what I was watching, or listening to. I still thought I saw myself as a good person because I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart. I finally realized after reaching what I call my rock bottom that I was using Jesus Christ and what He did for me as a fire insurance policy, my one way ticket out of hell. I would do something I knew in my heart was wrong, ask for forgiveness, then keep on living my life. Now don’t read that and think wow he is messed up. No, what I’m saying is I would ask forgiveness for that sin but commit it again the next day or even in the same day. I had issues with conforming to the people around me, what they were saying or the jokes they would say. I know we all struggle with crude jokes, we laugh and think its funny, but later we know it was wrong. I thought I was pretty low, I felt like a hypocrite going to church every Sunday and Wednesday, but acting like the world every other day of the week. I thought God was making my life miserable. I blamed God for everything that I was going through. I didn’t think I would ever amount to anything in this life so why live it. I had thoughts of suicide but could never actually harm myself. I thought about joining any branch of military just so I could get shot and die, I thought no one would miss me. That was the best way I could think of to do. Then at least I would die as a hero fighting for my country instead of just another suicide statistic. No one would know my actual intentions.

Through all I was going through emotionally and physically God kept telling me He was there. He kept giving me a nudge every now and then. That’s what I couldn’t figure out at first. Why would a God that I blamed everything on, and told if He just placed me on this earth to be miserable and that I could do that just fine myself keep coming at me? Why would a perfect God keep coming after an imperfect me?
A phrase that continued to echo through my mind and a picture was Jesus standing in front of me, with His arms stretched out saying, “do you trust me.” As Christians we look at that and go yeah we trust Him, isn’t that what being a Christ follower is about? Here I was saying I was a Christian but I couldn’t say I could trust Him. I couldn’t understand why God would be asking me if I could trust Him when I was blaming Him for everything. I like to put it this way, we breathe in air but we can’t see it. We trust the air is there even when we can only see the effects of it. That’s how I like to view God, but look at it from where I was. I couldn’t see God but somehow I could see the effects of Him through others live. I saw people changing, and becoming closer to God. Why couldn’t I do the same? It’s because I didn’t trust Him, it takes faith to trust in God and what He is doing, and it takes a trust in God to have faith. It’s like a pattern that just keeps going. If you don’t have the faith, then you won’t have the trust. If you don’t have a trust in the faith God calls us to have, then you won’t have faith in him to trust what He is doing. After I had pondered that I realized what I was doing. I was living a no fault religion, everything I was doing I didn’t want to take blame for it.  

       Now I’m not saying we all have to reach that point where we have to change our thinking and mindset so much that we feel like we’ll never measure up. Because of all that I did before I got to the point of actual surrender, it would be a lie to say that it didn’t leave a big scar. But through Jesus Christ and what He did on the cross for me, He took that scar and the punishment for that scar. So I wouldn’t have to live in bondage.


End of day 3 of travels
Finally here….

         As I sit here tonight getting ready for bed I can’t help but think back to what had happened just hours ago. We finally made it into Colorado Springs; we were all tired from being on the road since 9:30 a.m. central time. (8:30 a.m. Mountain time) Stress levels were high, emotions were running high, and we just wanted to sleep. As we dropped the tow dolly off at the U-Haul rental place my car was already hot from being towed through 100 degree heat almost all day, combined with being behind my dad’s truck getting the exhaust heat as well. As we were weaving our way through the hills to get to the house that I’m staying at I almost forgot about the heat. We drove through the neighborhood but could not find the right house number. I parked my car leaving it running and walked back to my moms car to talk to her. After maybe 5 minutes I look over and see smoke pouring from under my hood, and a wet puddle slowly making its way down the street. I race over and the first thing I did was shut my engine off, that’s all I knew to do! I jumped out of my car and picked up the hood as fast as I could, I didn’t care that everything around the smoke was extremely hot. I could see boiling liquid and steam coming out of my coolant container as my dad ran up from where the truck was parked to see what was going on. I didn’t know what to think, I wanted to yell, scream, cry, kick anything including my car, and go off on a complete rage. As my dad looked over my car, thoughts of hopelessness and doubt flooded through my mind, we had gone all this way and now something went what seemed to be terribly wrong. It’s a blessing kept running through my mind, from the very beginning I referred to my car as a blessing from God. I knew immediately that I needed to pray instead of drowning my thoughts with doubt. I believe strongly in the power of prayer and what it can do if you have the faith to believe that God will answer. I could hear my dad praying, and knew I should too. I walked around my car and placed my hands on my car and prayed.

    

              As we become closer to God we realize how easy it is to come to God opened minded. We have a better understanding of who God really is. God is our healer, our provider, our deliverer, our father, our friend, and many other things as well. When all this was happening why was my first reaction fear and doubt? Why when I’m coming to Charis Bible College does something go wrong when we are this close? I 100% do not believe God made my car overheat, just so I could learn a lesson. Situations beyond our control due to the heat and some because of my lack of knowledge still with cars caused my car to overheat. God didn’t cause doubt, fear, and rage to come to my mind. It was the lack of sleep, stress, and heat that caused us all to become vulnerable to Satan’s attack to try to discourage us. The reason why my heart and mind went to that panic state was because I haven’t arrived in my walk with God, I am learning new and greater things every day. But that doesn’t mean my life is going to be easy all the time, Satan will always be prowling around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Through Gods help and through a better knowledge of God’s word those attacks will be easier. As this day closes I know I have a bright future here in Colorado. I know when my parents leave there may be a few tears shed but I know I’ll meet many new friends, all while knowing my friends now will never leave my side. I leave you with a question. Are you willing to trust God enough to move 1100 miles away from everything you know? Are you willing to get where you’re going to have your car overheat and keep your eyes and thoughts on God? Can you really trust someone you can’t see in the natural, possibly only through a glimpse of some one’s life in front of you? I know my answer because I’m living it, but that glimpse of God through some one’s life is no longer that, it’s more. Through everything that I learn I get closer to God, through every step out of a no fault religion I feel more conviction that brings about a better change. And through every trial I prevail comes countless blessings from my heavenly father. I want to know your answer, if it’s yes, keep moving forward. If it’s no, I want to help you get to the point where you can see God and know He is a good God. Thank you for reading this note, and if it’s changed your life then I want to hear about it and celebrate! May you be blessed, and have a fulfilled life.

Note By
Tyler Showers
August 31-September 1^st 2011