One Hill, One Life, One Journey

It’s one hill, one life, one journey.
It’s up to you to live well.

We all have struggles, temptations, let downs, and setbacks. We have good days, bad days, horrible days, and perfect days.

           The biggest thing we face is what a lot of people like to call the spiritual rollercoaster, when you feel so spiritually alive and closer to God than ever and suddenly you get in a mood or something happens and it feels like you’ve been extradited to a lonely island in the middle of nowhere. It seems like there is no reception and you feel like the old Verizon commercials where the guy goes from place to place saying “can you hear me now?” but instead of saying “good” we say nothing, cause it’s like we hear… nothing, we feel nothing but emptiness, and loneliness. You go through your life but even that losses its excitement, you no longer have the drive you used to have to go change the world, you let the lies of your flesh and the lies of the enemy drag you down so deep that you begin to question why this all matters. It seems so much easier to experiment with what everyone says, what everyone watches on TV, what everyone does even though at the end of the day when you crawl into bed you just feel empty…
         You cry out to God inside and your mind is flooded with thoughts of the past, you’re reminded of everything you did, or didn’t do. To escape the depression you try to surround yourself with people, you love to be around people! But you catch weird glances, maybe that girl didn’t smile when you smiled at her, or that guy didn’t say hello back to you when you tried to reach out. All you want to do is return to that place of happiness that you once were in, but even when you pick up your Bible, even that doesn’t seem to do the trick and it once again looks like dead words on a page instead of life in a book.

           In reality it’s not a conventional rollercoaster like we’re used to seeing. It’s a single climb, you either climb to the top, or live in the beginning. Each problem in your life can be brought back to the same issue, to the same beginning. It’s an old style rollercoaster with a chain that pulls you up, it starts to build up with grease and it slips off and rolls back down to where you began. You don’t want to live in the beginning, so you start to scrub yourself off, change things you were doing and you hook back up to the chain. Every day is an option to slip off the chain, and every day there is an opportunity to daily cleanse and clean to keep the grease from building up and loosing height.

           This is the first time I’ve sat down and write something since March, why? I let the grease build up, and I let the chain slip from my car and I started to slide. I’m recognizing the slip, and cleaning up the mess and making the change. So what changed, why did this happen? And how can I keep from slipping again? Good question, and if you have the answer I would love to hear it. The only thing I can say is what I’m doing. I’m going through every teaching, message, and verses I can that I knew fired me up. I’m stocking up my life with everything that could possibly fill me up spiritually, including prayer. You might be thinking of how someone like a Bible college graduate could be going through something like this, it’s easy. Just like your physical body gets weak when we don’t eat, our spiritual walk gets weak when we withhold spiritual food. It’s an every day, every minute feeding. Neglect is the underlying cause for most of the things you struggle with concerning your spiritual walk and it’s up to you to make sure you get fed. 

Why I was a Christian yet hated Church

To Pastors, and leaders.
Anyone who wants to make a difference.
                                  
                              Why I was a Christian yet hated Church
     
          I grew up in church, my freshman year in high school I was done with it, couldn't take the falseness anymore. I asked Jesus into my heart in 2001 yet I always felt like an outsider by those who I thought were my church family. I went to a church for something like 5 years! When my parents left the church I was glad to go. Went to another church and fit in great but something was missing, it was still the same kind of teaching, but I always felt empty, I wasn't sure what kind of god I was living for, one Sunday I hear how he's a loving god, the next Sunday I'm a dirty rotten sinner and god hates me.

          
         The first time I ever heard God audibly it freaked me out, He didn't condemn me or tell me how terrible I was, He just asked me if I trusted Him. Here I was living the Christian life in front of my church friends, but when I wasn't around them I was swearing, telling dirty jokes all that stuff. God had every right to condemn me, but He didn't. He told me to trust Him, give my life to Him 100% everything laid down, nothing held back. A God I didn't understand was telling me all this, all of this He put in my heart and it never left, still to this day. A verse in the Bible finally came clear to me (Proverbs 3:5) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings." I didn't understand God, but it finally clicked that even though I didn't understand who God was I was still supposed to trust Him. It was as if God was telling me to step out onto a tight rope and only look forward, to not focus on what I had done or couldn't stop doing but to only look at Him.

        
           I was a Christian suffering with suicide, and Christians everywhere commit suicide every day. Why is that? Because in churches we're told that we're sinners and that’s all we hear. So we live our lives feeling like we're forever separated from God, so what’s the point of going through the motions, looking like the perfect Christian if it doesn't get us any closer to God, what’s the point of living.

         See what I struggled with was the fact that I couldn't cause harm to myself, I couldn't even rip a bandage off my skin because it stung. So here I was, a Christian with thoughts of suicide, didn't want to live this life anymore because I didn't see myself as worth anything and I couldn't even kill myself. So I thought about joining the military, seemed like a more noble way to go. I mean I could picture in my head the headlines and everything, just messed up stuff. All this while going to church, looking like I had everything together but each night I would fall apart. It was during the quiet times that everything would flood into mind, nothing but negativity, telling myself I wasn't worth anybody's time.

          I got out of that stinking thinking when God asked me that question and opened my eyes to Proverbs 3:5, granted it took a breakup with a girl I thought was the woman of my future for me to sit on my floor in my bedroom, spit in Gods face and tell Him I wasn’t going to do it. Cause I tried to give Him everything, and I thought He gave me her in return cause my mom and dad always told me to seek first the kingdom of God, and all those things I wanted would be added to me. But I lied to myself, made myself believe that she was the one for me. I had one day of separation from God, not even a full day. At around 4pm the next day I went back to the break-room at the job I worked at, put my head on the table and told God I was sorry, that’s all I had to do. He asked me again if I trusted Him, it was almost as if He just needed a true response. Not the good Christian response I always gave of “yeah Lord, of course I do” but an honest response “I don’t know if I can trust you, I don’t know who you are. I need to know you before I can trust you” Proverbs 3:5 “but Lord how can you, a perfect God chase after an imperfect me!” John 3:16[my paraphrase] For God so loved me, that He gave His only son to be made imperfect in place of me, so that through His(Jesus) perfection through the shed blood, death, and resurrection I am made perfect. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

         That’s why God was chasing after me, because when I asked Him into my heart I was made perfect in the Spirit, it wasn’t a perfect God chasing after an imperfect me, but a perfect God chasing after a perfect me. Now my body(flesh), or soul is still imperfect, that’s where the sinful desires come from and that’s where most of the church gets confused. Most churches preach that we’re sinners saved by grace(Ephesians 2:8) which is true, but they leave out the part of grace through faith, we have to believe it to receive it for the grace to save us. When we believe it, have faith in it, then the grace works, saves us, and we’re made new as the righteousness in Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

          My parents started going to a new church, smaller in size and I went a couple times but was too caught up in the fact that it was a small church with no live music that I didn’t pay attention to the message. One Sunday I finally did, and everything that God was dealing inside of me this pastor was preaching. God gave me a direction to go but I didn’t know where to begin, and this pastor opened up a whole new chapter in my life through the message that He preached. God told me to go to a Bible college, I had a new love for church and the pastor gave me a list of colleges that taught the same stuff he was preaching. I looked at all of the options and decided to check one out, Charis Bible College where I currently reside in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

            See what a message of Gods love can do? I no longer struggle with suicide, and I love church. But most of all I know who my savior is, it’s Jesus Christ. I didn’t get anything from church until I went to the right church, the problem with that is every church should be the right church to go to. People shouldn’t feel condemned or not welcome when they walk into your church, they should be shown love, the love of God. God wills that none perish, yet churches turn their backs on sinners when they walk into their “holy” building. They shriek when they hear someone swear in their “holy” building, like God hasn’t heard those words before, and when someone turns their sexual desires against the Bible we kick them out of our church instead of counseling them to find the root of those desires. Most times we just throw the Book(Gods word) at them and tell them the popular phrase among Christians “God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve”, I’m so tired of that line. No matter how truthful it is, it’s beginning to grate on me. It’s our way of pulling the stupid card on someone who is lost, like they don’t already know that.

             We need to step up, step out, and be an example to a lost and dying world!


           We love to tell sinners that God is a good and just judge, and we think that we’re omitted from some truthful judging because we’re His kids. Any judge on this earth would have to account His kid the same as a stranger. Can’t forget to mention this verse to all you leaders in the church (James 3:1 Amplified version) “Not many [of you] should become teachers ([a]self-constituted censors and reproves of others), my brethren, for you know that we [teachers] will be judged by a higher standard and with greater severity [than other people; thus we assume the greater accountability and the more condemnation].” This includes Pastors, Teachers, Evangelists, Prophets, and Apostles.

           So the next time a gay or lesbian walks into your church seeking refuge or advice, or a homeless man looking for a warm meal, and maybe a teenager who has lip rings, tattoos, and gauges in his ear needs help for an addiction, suicide, or cutting. Or a pregnant teen girl thinking of abortion and can’t see any other way out of the mess she’s in. Maybe, just maybe you’ll reach out your hand just as Jesus did, and offer a refuge of safety, and comfort that will in turn save a life, instead of just throwing the book at them. They already know the mess they’re in, the last thing they need is for you to tell them how bad they really are.

What Does Your Life Look Like?

How is your life turning out?

Have you ever been so moved by a blessing from God that you’re to the brink of tears of joy!

That’s how I feel right now.

        I’m sitting at my apartment, 2 months away from me lease being up and moving again, less than 4 months left of school and moving back to Indiana. I cant help but think about my very first blog I had written, the struggles, pain, uncertainties etc.
Now as I’m this close to finishing I’m looking onto a new chapter of my life and it’s exciting, I cant wait to see what all God has next!

      I’m sitting here having accomplished my first year, now almost my second, went on a missions trip and impacted thousands of lives, lived on my own for 2 years and survived and grew both physically as a man, and spiritually. I have met some really great people as well as had some interactions with some sandpaper personalities. I cant say that everything has been great cause I have had my good times and bad, but all together I see now almost 2 great years behind me, and a lifetime ahead of me.

       I went from a young man feeling stuck in a rut headed to nowhere, to still a young man headed to an adventure with my savior. God has given me a gift to teach, gift to preach, give to act out dramas and skits, and now the gift of a creative mind able to create things as their being said with the smallest of detail. I’m currently in the process of writing my very own skit(drama), the writing is done and I’m working on getting the process to completion to perform at the end of year party that we have here at the college.

       I’ve found out things about myself that I questioned. I came here not knowing if I could say no to an enticing girl to knowing that God has given me the strength as a man to step away. I’ve broken down the chains of legalism and found out how much I love people, how much I love listening to people, how much I have a heart for street evangelism, prison outreach, and youth. I finally found myself worth peoples time and effort when before I didn’t see a point in living as I contemplated taking my own life myself or by joining the military.

        I have broken generational curses since I changed over to the bloodline of Jesus Christ, I have found my authority in Christ to heal the sick, give to the poor, comfort the broken hearted. No longer do I live by the worlds standards but Gods, I was created in His image and God said I was good! God told me to trust Him 100%, enough for Him to trust me. He told me to love and see the best in everybody including the President whether I agree with his morals or not because he is the leader of this country and I am called to pray for him. He told me to love those who live off of welfare, love the drug addicts, the poor, the smelly, the corrupt, the murderers, rapists, thieves. When God told me and showed me in His word 1 Corinthians 13:7 in the amplified version to believe the best in every person God meant every person. In the natural we see the outside, but God looks at the heart. So if God looks at the heart and can see something good in the worst of criminals or the worst in leadership and He tells us to love them, then love them, its that plain and that simple to me.

         Some people may not agree with me, some will try to fight me in what I believe and try to change my mind. I welcome the persecution of the church because that is only an affirmation that I am doing the right thing and the devil doesn’t like it. I’m ready to live as Paul did, he praised God in the jails, he was persecuted, stoned and left for dead, bitten by poisonous snakes etc. I will get to the point where sickness and disease cannot hurt me, and I believe fully if someone puts something deadly in my food or drink it will not harm me. Paul was a regular human being just like us, I don’t believe the “scholars” that say all that power and knowledge and miracles died with the disciples and apostles in Bible days. It says God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. When Moses came down off the mountain not only did he have the ten commandments but he also had other rules etc. which the people said they would follow all, which included blessings and judgment. But through Christ He has made a new covenant which frees us from the destruction of sin, which through the blood covenant of Jesus made us right with God and enabled us to walk into the throne room of God and call Him Abba Father.

         This is my life, saved by God, ready to do and live out the promises of today to generations to come. This is my calling; this is my job on this earth. I know this is what God wants me to do and I know He will take care of me no matter what challenge comes my way. Come on He put a home schooled kid through Bible College who thought nothing would come from his life, and He brought people into my life to provide the funds to go on a missions trip that would open up my mind to more than I thought was possible. Don’t tell me God doesn’t heal because I saw a cripple man walk, and don’t tell me that God only chooses to heal some and not all because who has the authority to say that the person who was on the brink of death, laying in a hospital bed faced with spinal injuries or head trauma wasn’t healed just because he/she died. Would you rather that person be here on this earth suffering or in heaven healed and sitting at the feet of Jesus?

           Remember to always love, always pray faith, always speak faith and love. Remember to trust and hope earnestly for the things of God. Remember to chase and take hold of your inheritance on this earth because of what Jesus did on the cross.

My motto is no longer “life’s rough then you die” but it’s “life has its challenges, it’s not always easy, step out and make a change, live life to the fullest, and be the man/woman God created you to be”

Thanks for reading and I hope and pray for everyone that reads this.

God Bless!

P.S- God wants me to tell you that you’re worth His time, and that He loves you.

He has His arms open, run to Him, and start your new life with Him!

What is God going to say to you when you die?

 Do we really think God is going to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”?     

      Why are we so ready to leave this earth? Why are we so ready to stand before God and hear Him say well done, you let your country fall away from me, you wasted your talents looking at prophecy and waiting for me. Great job existing on this earth instead of going into the world and making disciples, you kept your life easy, comfortable, stayed in the church.
It’s not about us waiting for God to change people, it’s about the change getting into us and spreading across the world.

       God didn’t allow that guy to go into an elementary school in Connecticut and kill innocent people and children, we did.
Where was the church in all this? The social media and believers try to pick out every possible thing to keep the blame from ourselves saying, well he had mental problems, problems at home etc. Do we ever stop to wonder how he got to the point that he did? We’re quick to point out who he was, not how he got that way. Where were Christians? There are churches and believers in Connecticut, where were they. Why didn’t someone reach out to him? When someone is contemplating something so violent it’s easy to spot, people who are hurting are easy to spot even if they think they hide it well.

      Don’t blame God for something He told us to do, the way our world is, is nobody’s fault but ours.
Jesus told us to go into the world and preach the gospel. That goes for our cities as well! He didn’t just say be born again and sit in a church and feel good for the rest of our lives. We have other churches in other countries doing more and asking for our help. Other countries are looking to us for help when we aren’t even willing to help ourselves.
Are you really expecting God to say well done good and faithful servant when we’ve done nothing to serve or better out country, and nothing to further the kingdom of God?

      Come on! Take off your holy rolling glasses and realize that the church and our country, our world is headed for destruction! All of Gods children are headed to Hell. We as believers are saved from death, so why are we afraid to be persecuted? If we wanted a perfect, easy life we should have never asked Jesus into our hearts. The bible says as Christians we face trials and persecution. Grow a backbone, put on your grown up pants and lets get this thing done. Lets be the change this country, this world needs!

The Ultimate Fighter

Imagine this
              Your walking down an alley, a man approaches and you catch a glimpse of something in His hand. He pushes you against a brick wall. You’re disoriented, screaming at your attacker to stop. You try to look him in the eyes but his face is covered by a mask. He begins to beat you, you can feel your body start to give with every impact of his fist to your face, and knee to your side. You don’t know why this is happening, your scared as you realize his intent.. to kill you. You feel your legs give and your body crashes to the ground. You head hits the concrete and you black out.
             You start to wonder in the blackness if your dead, you start to visualize your attacker and try to focus on what he had in his hand, a gun, knife, baseball bat? If He had one of those he would've used it right? It suddenly becomes clear that it’s a piece of paper, on it is your name written in bold black letters. Underneath it reads the following “on this day, punishable by death these sins were committed. By the authority of God I hereby sentence you to life in Hell where you will forever be separated from me.” Underneath it is signed by God.
               You regain consciousness and notice the man who attacked you is arguing with another man. The attacker hits the man and knocks him down next to you, a bright light shines and you start to think of a policeman’s spotlight on his car, your saved. You look to the man next to you and realize that the light is coming from him. You look to your left and notice your attacker running away. The man that was the light now looks like a normal man again, he brushes himself off and offers his hand to help you. He hands you the piece of paper but instead of your name at the top it reads “Redeemed”, below you read “permission from God, to save the lost, heal the sick and the broken, and to make a way for freedom.” The man takes the paper back and signs it in blood. You look at the signature and it reads Jesus Christ.
                You look at this man and ask Him what it means, He looks at you and smiles. He says “It once was my fathers business to punish and judge, and to those who don’t accept my redemption still face the punishment for their sins. I came down to this earth as man, taking the punishment of sin and to bridge the gap so you could live free.” You ask Jesus who the attacker was, “It was satan, with an old worn out paper that he lives by, but is no longer valid. He wears a mask of my father lurking about devouring my followers, convincing them that it is my Father punishing them. Convincing strong believers that its my Fathers perfect will, as they die of sickness before their time.” Jesus puts His hand on your chin, you see a tear fall from His eyes as He tells you He loves you, as he askes one question. “Will you take my love and share it unconditionally? So many of my people are dying because of a lie being spread by parts of my bride the church, will you tell them the truth, tell them that I love them and that I want them to live a fulfilled life on this earth. That’s why I created you here on this earth, not to live and die but to thrive!
              Jesus sheds one final tear, pulls you close and hold onto you not wanting to let you go. Jesus finally turns and walks away as you stand in that alley, moments ago on the brink of death but now with a calling on your life.

I like to visualize things when they come to me, and as I sat in my class one day in school it was as if I entered a new world. I could feel the cold brick, the crisp fall air. I heard the street noises and saw the lights. I could feel the impacts from the hits on my body, I closed my eyes and saw the exact movements of the attacker, everything that happened in the story above I experienced as if I was there. As the visual was flowing through my mind, my pencil was furiously writing on my notepad. Such a passion rose up in me as I pictured strong Christians leave this earth, not fulfilling or even realizing what they were put on this earth to do. The inspiration for this blog is a visual picture of John 10:10 and a visual of Jesus coming and giving His life so we could live free from sin John 10:11.
Hope is Alive, Change the World, Impact futures!
John 3:16

Are We a Trustworthy Vessel for God to use?

As I continue now my 2^nd year at Charis Bible College I’m faced with the greatest task, being able to fit my testimony in 10min or less. How do I put all that God has done in my life since August of 2009 into just 10min?
Thats when God brought me on a journey, back to the basics of why I’m in Colorado Springs attending a Bible college. He brought me back to the simple yet terrifying 4 words, “Do you trust ME!” (God)

He brought me back to the message He gave me sitting in a cabin at a church camp where I had no intentions on actually “finding” God, truth is God found me. It’s not that I was lost, just not on the right path, the path that God wanted for me.

As I got ready to go to bed I was restless, didn't want to sleep even though the thoughts of me running a 5K race the next Saturday morning begged me to sleep. I began to talk to God, I wasn't sure what about so I just thanked Him for where He’s placed me. Thoughts of my testimony filled my mind as God posed a new question on me, a question that brings my whole message deeper.

Once we can say we trust God no matter what we face in this world, are we then able to ask God to trust us as we offer our bodies as empty vessels for God to possess and use.

Can God trust us with His love?
Will we use it for our gain or the gain of Christ?
Can God trust us with our minds?
Have our minds really been renewed?
When we’re alone, what does our imagination create?
Have we really offered up our bodies truly empty of self wants or habits?
Will God have to look through the junk that sin carries?
Will Jesus have to continue to carry the burden of our sins?

There is so much power inside of us when we have Christ inside but have we tapped into it?

Are we ready to tap Jesus into this fight and let Him take care of it or are we too busy trying to fight a battle alone?

What looks better, giving God the glory in everything or taking the podium as number 1.
Who gets the greater glory when we give God our all?
We get everything because through Jesus Christ we are made greater, but its only through Him

Are you willing to be an empty vessel for God, for Him to flow His power through.
Are you ready to tap into the I.V bag that’s full of Gods blessings?

Are you really able to trust God with everything?

Get ready for something that will go against the very doctrine of what you believe!

What fires you up?
What makes the gospel come alive in you?
What is it that ignites the fire and power of the Holy Spirit and causes it to burn ramped through your body?

What is the one thing that makes you feel safe, secure, and happy?

Through the struggles of life people of all ages look for that one thing that makes them feel whole.
Through the pains, the breakups, the heart ache people are searching for something that mends there broken lives.

Even in the church today there are people still searching for that fill.
They’re still searching for that thing that will make them truly happy, truly satisfied, still searching for the thing that fills the void and emptiness.

People go to church and are filled with nothing but condemnation, are told to reflect on their past sins and cry out to God to save them from their past.

Did God not send His only begotten son to this earth?
Not to condemn the world, but to save it.
Not to destroy or break the law, but to fulfill it.
Not to teach fire and brimstone, but to teach love, forgiveness, and the kingdom.

There are so many parts to the kingdom of heaven that we as a generation now, as well as generations past that can’t or don’t want to grasp the truth and let go of the lies.

When Jesus was on the earth he went about healing all that were sick and oppressed of the devil. People put both things together to say that He didn’t teach on healing, which is correct but if you remember grammar class you know that when “and” is put into a sentence it’s essentially say “healing all that were sick as well as oppressed of the devil”
When Jesus was on the earth, when He taught on sin and condemnation He never said that we had to do what the religious leaders did and tear our clothes and fall on our faces crying out to God to save us. That is essentially what the church calls people to do, they call people to the alter so they can wail and plead for God to save and forgive us.

Every time I hear a pastor call people to the front of a church so they can plead and ask God to save us from our sins I imagine God in heaven looking over to Jesus who is shaking His head saying now haven’t you already taken their sins away? Haven’t you already taken away condemnation? Didn’t I send you to the earth so you could save the lost and the hurting?

I’m not saying that we don’t have to come to God and accept Him, but by going up to an alter or whatever and pleading to God and causing snot to run out of our nose just for Him to save our sins is actually putting Jesus on the cross again and again because we don’t believe He could’ve taken away every single sin we will ever commit, every single ounce of condemnation for past sins.

Jesus never said we had to rent our clothes and heap ashes on our head when we accept Him, it should be a joyful time. A time filled with His Love and compassion, a time for Jesus to come in and cleans us white as snow, tears of joy instead of looking like we’re crying because we enjoyed what we were doing before and now having to live a godly life.

As a believer in God if you believe that we have to come to God with our heads low and tails in between our legs because we did something wrong, then Jesus died for nothing. Jesus came so we could have our heads held high, come to the father and simply say God I’m sorry, help me, give me strength, help me renew my mind and change my attitude.
We know that when Jesus died on that cross it was for whatever we just brought to God, and that we no longer need to live in condemnation, we’re free!

Most people translate what I said into meaning we can do whatever we want without needing to come to God, they see no condemnation as no longer needing to worry about what we do or say. That’s mostly because we still want to do those things (sins), whether it’s words or actions. We want to have a fire insurance policy, yet break every clause in the manual (Gods word).

When I see people not living to their full potential, only doing what they want because it’s easy it bugs me. It’s much easier to blame God for things than to look at our own life and see the real cause, they rather say that God is causing them to suffer so we can soon triumph.

So if it’s Gods will for you to suffer how can it also be His will for you to triumph?
Would someone come up to you with the intent to kill you, knock you down and beat you until you could hardly breathe then tell you to stand up and take your best shot?

If it’s really Gods will for you to suffer on this earth then suffer! But don’t keep telling people that you just got back from the doctors and he or she said you only had a few more weeks to live and act depressed. If it’s truly Gods will that you only have a few weeks of life left then at least be happy about it.

If you knew that it’s not God killing you or causing you to suffer then you can change your destiny, cancer may run in your family, arthritis may be in your family, but when you accept Jesus into your life as your personal Lord and Savior you get a new family tree and I can say with much belief that there is absolutely no sickness on Gods family tree, there’s no suffering, no condemnation. I was always wondering if there was more to God than what I was taught, I couldn’t understand the belief that God gives and takes away. When Job said that, it was because He was hurting. Job wasn’t a prophet, he was just a man that praised God all the time and satan said he could change that, in the end of the book he apologized for the wrongs that he said or did.

I could get more in depth with a lot of things, if you have any more questions or comments just hit me up on facebook or even on here. I’ll be happy to help you and if I don’t personally know can direct you to someone who I’ve learned from. A lot of what I’ve learned hasn’t come from teachings, most of it came from reading Gods word for how it is, not for how religions or theology teaches it. Thank you all for reading my blog and hope that in some way it can peak your interest to learn who the God of the universe really is!

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http://www.kingdomlifeministry.com/messages/series/42-heart-of-the-gospel.html?start=5

A years start to a lifetime of greater things.

What a year!

       Its crazy to thing something that feels like just yesterday was actually six months ago. Its crazy to think that six months ago everything was uncertain. Six months ago loading up my dads diesel dually, and figuring out how to get my car on the tow dolly correctly, Six months ago looking at my empty room while memories flooded my mind of all the good times I’d had at that house since we moved in there. From first grade to March of 2011 a lot has happened, both emotionally and physically. I remember when I was in first grade thinking about how far finishing school and getting my drivers license seemed.

     I started looking for a job when I was 15 but didn’t get one until I was 16, I also got my license two months before my job in 2009. From 2009-2011 I took a building trades course at Penn High school, it was during my junior and senior year in high school. I had a life changing experience at a church camp in August of 2010 where God showed me a vision of what I was going to be doing and audibly heard what He wanted me to share.

      I began to search for college’s and asked my pastor if he had any great ideas. I didn’t want to go to just any Bible college, I wanted to go to one that used the Bible as their main text book and believed in the power of prayer and the importance of grace and faith. The moment I went on the web site for Charis Bible College I knew that’s where God was leading me. I saw they were having an event called campus days and got my parents to agree to going on a vacation to check it out. When I left campus days in March of 2011 I was graduated from college and had an application submitted to attend the following September.

        In June of 2011 I quit my job at Chick-fil-A and got a job that worked me 10-12 hours a day or more, pay was better but was tougher than I had expected. Went by faith and found a temporary place to stay in Colorado, and in August of 2011 quit my job at Meijer Central warehouse and spend the rest of my 3 weeks in Indiana with family and friends.
      

         Now I’m back where I started this blog, I’m here in Colorado and have been for six months. These past six months cant even come close to comparing what all I have done in a year. The physical doesn’t compare to the spiritual and the struggles don’t compare to the blessings. In six months I have accomplished more than ever, I’m so blessed to have the friends I’ve made here, the places I’ve lived but none of that compares to what God has done in me spiritually. I’m planning on being here for 3 more years and if God tells me then I’ll be here for a total of 5 years. I’m excited to see what all God is going to do while I’m here and what He has for after college. I pray that your lives will be blessed more than mine, and that you too will find who God really is. It takes a trust in God to have faith, and a faith in what God is doing to trust Him. God Bless and thanks for reading!

Tyler Showers

Will you get in the Limo? Gods holding the door.

Getting in the Limo
       I’ve had my times of doubt, wondering what I’m doing thinking I was crazy for moving here. I could be back home working at a job that paid the best out of all the jobs I’ve had, plenty of hours, and was permanent. Sometimes I think how I’m going to provide tuition and rent, buy food and gas. I don’t have all the answers. There are questions in this life that I wish I had the answers too, questions that seem like if I had the answers life would be so much more care free.

    I began my journey back in august of 2010, I was lost and hurting but God kept calling out to me. They say here at the college that you may think you found God but really He found us. That reigns so true in my life. Even though every time something went wrong and I blamed God He still kept calling me. I would constantly hear “Do you trust me.” I never understood why, why would a perfect God want someone like me. Someone who by law has led a perfect life, by Gods standard should be rejected. I was never perfect, always leading a double life, living with one foot in the world and one foot on Gods side. I was sitting on the fence not wanting to go all in either way.  I didn’t realize until I got here that the fence satan owns. The fence is where the devil laughs, because we think we aren’t on his side but we are. We think that since we aren’t in the world we’re okay. We need to decide whether or not we’re going to live for God or not at all. With God there is no gray area only black or white. The good news is that God sent His only son Jesus to die on a cross to save us from destruction and eternal horror. When Jesus died on a cross He took all our sins past or present with Him to hell and left them there. We no longer need to feel condemnation for what we’ve done. Condemnation is from the devil, it drags us down and makes us feel unworthy to be called Gods children. I was living there for so long, I felt condemned for my actions, words, and habits.

     I grew up in a great home, I grew up in the church and was taught from the beginning the difference between right and wrong. But because we are all born with a sinful nature my flesh would always go for the wrong, always lusting after the things of this world. Lust isn’t always wanting or looking at a person of the opposite sex, its anything that our flesh desires. A lot of our lust does come from the eyes but its also a lust for money, power, and possessions. Lust is anything that our hearts desire, it can be alcohol, pornography, drugs, and people.

     One side of my double life was the worlds, every day from Monday to Saturday. Wednesday was a break because of church but besides Sunday I really wasn’t living for God. And even on Sunday I was just going through the motions. I wasn’t out partying, smoking or drinking. I wasn’t out committing sexual intercourse but the further I went away from my walk with Christ the more my flesh desired that closeness. I thought that those things would fill a void in my soul. I would always have big long conversations with my mom and dad where it would end in me breaking down and crying and I would try for a while but always come up short. My junior year in high school was a downward spiral, I started taking a Building Trades course at the local high school. I was never actually exposed to drugs and so much talk about alcohol and perversion, I was aware but never around it. I started swearing more than I ever did, the anger that I always had a tough time controlling magnified to a dangerous level. I was hurting, searching in places that could maybe help because church and God didn’t seem to cut it.

    
           This is my situation, I’m empty and feel lost. I try to get back to God but because of condemnation I keep falling. I’m currently not caring about the way I talk or act, and I didn’t care if I died. Church was giving me no fulfillment, it was just a place to go to feel even more rejected and unwanted. The way I talked slowly perverted my mind and actions, I felt dirty inside because of the way I thought and felt. The military looked like a better way to end it all, I couldn’t commit suicide. I didn’t know what to believe, I asked Jesus into my heart after watching the first left behind movie November of 2001 and water baptized in 2006 so I believed I could still go to heaven but deep down I was scared to die. I had my friends that got my mind off of the dirt and junk I felt, all this in my junior year in high school.

     Most of my senior year went the same way, except it changed for the better towards the end. Because I didn’t care I was severely behind in my school, I wasn’t going to be done until the start of when normal seniors head to college. There wasn’t anyone to blame but myself and I was reaping my actions. Through everything God still kept calling out to me saying “do you trust me,” it became even more audible and frequent.  I started to wonder if maybe it wasn’t God causing my problems, maybe it was me that was destroying my life because of my flesh. We started going to a different church where I am greatly joyed to actually be able to call it a home, and the pastor Rodger Cook a friend and a mentor, someone I could look up too and learn from. A pastor that wasn’t untouchable like all the pastors from the past, everything He said made sense and made me long for more. My life suddenly had meaning and purpose, even though I was still wondering what God really had for me. I started reading my bible and things made sense, things came together instead of looking like a bunch of words. I finally realized that God wanted me to trust Him and that everything was going to be okay. If I actually gave Him all things and laid everything I had 100% at His feet, He would be there for me no matter what.  That started my search and desire for what God placed in my heart, a dream that now felt reachable. I looked into several colleges, my pastor gave me some ideas for colleges and gave me some names. I looked up Charis Bible College and it stood out among the rest. I found out about their event they call campus days where you come and experience it firsthand. I left Colorado with an application turned in and a future that excited me.

     This is where I currently am, sitting in an amazing house almost in the mountains and loving every minute I’m here. It’s not always easy and there is always a new level of trust that is added to my faith every day, but I know provision is here. I can’t keep my focus on where I would be right now back in Indiana, this is my home right now. As I try to figure out what I’m doing over the summer I’m excited either way, if I have to go back home then I know a job will be provided that I can pay my tuition in full next year, that will provide me a stable foundation for the following year. It will give me a chance to be back with my family and reconnect with my friends that I haven’t seen in a while. If I get to stay here over the summer it’ll be the same way. I’ll have a new place to stay and a job that will provide full tuition and a stable foundation to live on. I’m excited to see where God is going to lead me and I cant wait to earn my full inheritance here on earth. Every day is new revelation, every day is a new depth of focus, a new outlook, a new chance to let God help me out of a wreak of lost focus on the drive of my life and open the door to a brand new limo headed towards greater things.

   
           I want to thank you all for the prayers and support through my journey. I want to thank all of my friends who have been there for me in in the past and my family for sticking by my side. I want to let you know that God is there in front of you holding the door open to your own limo to take you on your most amazing journey you could ever ask for. He gave us a free will, He won’t make you get in it’s your choice. If you choose to climb in you won’t regret it, even when it’s hard and you feel like giving up Gods always there. Do you trust God enough to leave all the junk and hurt to get in and start living? My prayer is that all who read this are somehow impacted, and if you read it and don’t get anything out of it that’s okay because it blesses me to write it. Thanks again and God Bless!

Another New Year, another year to change and to make changes.

“A New Year, a time to change and to make changes”        

           As I write this it’s almost the end of the first day of a new year. A time where people make resolutions for weight loss, better relationships, better attitudes. But all through the past year how many have kept it? Not many.  So why keep making a promise to yourself when you know you won’t be able to keep it?

            Over the past couple of weeks or months I’ve seen nothing but a lot of drama towards fellow brothers or sisters in Christ. Why do we have so much resentment towards others when we are supposed to love one another as Christ loved us? Does anyone think that Jesus went around the earth holding grudges to those who offended him? No, He went around loving and healing all that were oppressed. So what is the heart of all the drama? What continues to fuel the very thing that rips friendships apart? There are many things like maybe your friend has a friend that you hate, and because you don’t like their friends than you’ll hold back. Or another one like relationships, now this is a big one and I’ll take some time with it. I’m currently reading a book called “I kissed dating goodbye” by Joshua Harris, and everything in that book so far has changed the way I look at a relationship.
           The book isn’t about never dating, it’s about changing the way you look at relationships to where its God centered and focused on a God kind of love. Instead of looking at a girl with the intent of dating and having physical relations with, it talks about centering a relationship off of friendship. I hear people say that it would be weird to marry your best friend, but isn’t it better to marry you best friend than a total stranger? When dating its mostly fast paced, no time to get to know each other. No time to learn each other’s likes or dislikes passions or desires. There’s no time to learn about the person and to study who you’re with. Dating and relationships are like a big test. If you don’t study for them you’ll fail. Just like if you don’t take time to get to know someone before you’re with them you’ll fail. There will just be two people trying to pick up pieces and starting over. Or in a relationship you may be studying but more on the physical side. The book talks a lot about physical purity and how high God holds it. You may have not ran all the bases as people say but the Bible says that even if you look at a woman with lust, you’ve already committed adultery in your heart. |

    So through what you’ve read so far, how many of you have resentment or drama towards someone else because of a relationship? There is way too much of this going on in the body of Christ, and even at my college. I came here with a focus of God and only God, but it’s so easy to get sucked into this guy is with this girl, and this girl wants the same guy. Or there’s five guys wanting one girl. It’s ridiculous really how people can bring up judgment and drama towards another when they are jealous. I don’t mean to say that I’m perfect because I’ve done the same thing. But honestly I got tired of it, I got so caught up in that that I lost my main focus on coming to Charis. I told everyone that I didn’t know what my problem was but inside I knew. I got to the point where I was driving home one night crying out to God and telling Him that I rather be in His will and single for the rest of my life than be in a relationship and be out of His will. That’s a little extreme and I know that that’s not what God has in mind for me but I know I needed to give all of that to God and let Him know once again that I want to be sold out for Him, I want to earn my full inheritance here on earth. I needed to admit my wrong and give my passion to Him. God gave us all a free will to do whatever we want, but we need to set that aside and say God lead me, I’ll follow. You are the driver and I’ll sit in the back and do what I need to do to get to where you want me to go. We will stumble, we will reach forward and grab the wheel and crash. But God is there waiting for us to climb out of the rubble no matter how serious, get into a brand new car and keep going. I told someone the other day that I rather have a bunch of sisters in Christ than a bunch of memories I’d wished I could forget. I rather have the good out way the bad. I wonder what most people’s reason for going to Charis is. Is it to have relationships with the opposite sex, or is it to truly have a relationship with Christ? I rather look back at my time at Charis and see good things, not a bunch of bad feelings and memories. I’m not making a resolution for the right relationship with a girl, I’m going to leave that up to God. I’m not making any resolution this year, I’m only shifting my focus towards God over a relationship. I know that once I’m ready for a relationship the right one will come, but until I can keep my focus on God while being with a girl it won’t ever work. 

        

            Thanks again for reading what I have to say. I hope that people can take some stuff to heart. You don’t have to agree with everything I say, but I hope it changes the way you look at how things can affect everyone. And that if a relationship takes your focus off God, then it’s either too early or just not Gods plan. Hope you all have a great new year! God Bless!

God's Provision

  God’s provision:    

     I had the amazing opportunity to go home for thanksgiving, and with Christmas around the corner I’ll be spending it here in Colorado. It was good to see everyone but as the week was ending I couldn’t wait to get back in school and work. Let me tell you, God is the God of provision and goodness. He has given me the amazing opportunity to meet new people, go to an amazing school, and have the best job I have ever had.
     My boss told me yesterday that she wanted to talk to me about my hours, but she was leaving and I was going on break so she said we’d talk today. The first thought I had was more hours, then the next thought I had was fewer hours. I decided to focus on the increase rather than the decrease. Today as I walked into her office I was pretty optimistic. But as I left her office I was uneasy inside and wondering what I may have done. She told me that because of the work load being so little and a past employee coming back soon that I will probably be put on as an as needed worker. I was at least glad that she told her boss that she wanted to keep me on as an employee but the fewer hours and possible even more part time job freaked me out. I couldn’t figure it out, I was one of the two seasonal employees that they hired and they picked me. I was working hard, I was keeping pace, and everyone said I was a great worker and that I fit in. But was I really the only one picked, did they let the other employee know the same thing? The more I thought about it the more uneasy I felt inside so I tried to think of other things. I kept working through the stuff given to me to work on, and finished well before I had to leave so they gave me more.
        I had made plans to meet with a friend to look at a video he had made for Charis Christian Centers college group that they are starting, and after I was going to go to this youth/college group at another church with another friend. My friend text me and said he couldn’t go so I decided to stick around for CCC Wednesday night service. I wasn’t sure when it ended and wasn’t sure what I was doing for supper but I stayed regardless. I got to say that had to be God, because I left there pumped up and ready for whatever was ahead. And to top it off my friend and I went to Carl’s jr. (a burger place) for supper. His wife had the car so he rode with me from the church to the restaurant. It was a great time, getting to talk with someone who is older (not too old) and has the same passion that I have for going to CBC. Yeah we both have different things that we know God is calling us too but we share the same kind of likes and dislikes. I can relate to this guy and can be open about anything. He paid for my meal which was a major blessing, and I got to say it was an amazing burger. I took him home and started for my house. I listened to happy Christmas music and sang my heart out, it lifted my spirits and made my dark lonely drive home more bearable, and it kept my mind off work.
      I went down to my room once I got home, changed, and began to just talk to God. I began to speak a blessing over the production department, I told God that I’m still standing on the fact that this is my job, that I am not giving up, I’m not giving in. I don’t know how or what is going to happen, but until I get a different word from God I’m not moving from where I am. I’m standing on the word that Gods given me, I’m not backing down or give up, I will not lose heart. For the rest of my life I’m going to look back on this time here and laugh. My problems now are only trivial compared to the provision God has in store for me. I believe fully that I will either be blessed with my dream truck, or have the money to purchase it debt free. I believe that either I’m going to meet my wife here at college, or find her after. I believe that the job I have now is my job. And if it’s not the best for me then I expect better than what I have. I will not go for anything but high expectations; I will not stand for anything but Gods best for my life. Sickness and disease can’t hurt me, debt can’t stand with me, demons can’t affect me, my flesh cannot overtake me, my mind will stay renewed in Jesus Christ. God is good all the time, if you take off the “d” in devil it spell evil. Only evil can come from evil, God is a good God and He wants to bless his children. I’m tired of people blaming sickness and other infirmities on God, the only reason why they do that is because they are too afraid to own up to their own actions. They want to say oh God made this cancer in my body just for me, they claim it and say “it’s my cancer, God gave it to me” and they live there life ready to be taken by something that isn’t from God. A lot of people bring up the story of Job, the most popular person to bring up when others talk about healing and sickness. They say that God took everything away from Job, that he made his life miserable, when you look through that story of Job it clearly states that the devil took away his possessions and family not God. And when Job said the lord gives and the Lord takes away Job was not living under the anointing of God and you can see in the end of the story Job apologizes for what he had said during that time. Another point that people bring up is that God allowed the devil to do those things to Job. God gave us a free will, and He gave us the power to rule over everything on this earth. Job was very fearful about his family, he sacrificed every day for His children because He was afraid of what his children might do, or what might happen to them. The devil used Jobs fear, and in turn every fear Job had become a reality.
         When people die in car accidents other people say that God wanted them in heaven, my opinion on that is what is God going to do with a bunch of people in heaven? God created us to worship Him yes, but we can worship him here and make an impact here on earth. If we die and go to heaven we can no longer win souls for Christ, our body is dead, our spirit goes to heaven. Jesus told everybody to go into the world and preach the gospel. I’m not saying that everyone who dies before “there time” dies in vain. We need to make sure we leave an impact with others so our impact can still be used when we are gone.
          I kind of went on a rabbit trail but it’s that kind of stuff that really gets me. I see so many people not living up to their full potential because they don’t think they are worthy, or they don’t think God isn’t a big enough God to provide for the dream or desire. If you truly believe that God placed a desire or vision on your heart then you should have no worries about the provision. My God shall supply all my need according to His purpose, doesn’t mean struggles won’t come. But we need to realize that our struggles come from our choices, our fears, our disbeliefs and not God. I hope this ministers to you as much as it did for me writing it, I enjoy writing my thoughts as God gives me the words. Thanks for ready, blessing on all of you. And remember I’m Gods favorite, are you?

God CANNOT and WILL NOT use sin

       Some may doubt my reasons or motives for being in Colorado, some may wonder if behind all the talk there is the actual reason for my being here. Let me put all of those reasons to rest.
       If you have read all my other blogs you know the calling God has placed on my life, you know the journey that I have taken to get here to Colorado, and you know the struggles that I have encountered since I got here. As I’m nearing the end of the first semester I’m amazed at how much God takes care of His children when they are completely in Gods will. I have been blessed with amazing friends, teachers, co-workers, and along with those co-workers and amazing job. I’ve been blessed with two great homes to live in with amazing Spirit filled believers. And I’ve been blessed with provision.
       The provision is actually what brings me to write this blog. I got up this morning to see an amazing sight outside, pure white untouched snow on the trees and the ground. After I showered and got to school I had a great time of praise and worship before the studies began. Classes went great as I eagerly awaited one of my favorite teachers who was teaching 4^th hour. His teaching went great as I again left his class eagerly excited about the gospel and what it actually is. Dinu, the husband of the couple I was staying with before came to me and said they had some food that they had for me, some meat and canned goods, so we made a time that I would come over to pick it up. I went back to my job (which is an amazing story in itself) and worked for 2 hours because they closed the ministry due to the declining weather. After work I had to go get a snow brush because I forgot mine at home in Indiana and I didn’t want to keep using my hands to clear of the snow on my car. I went to walmart and of course they were sold out, I figured because everyone probably didn’t have a snow brush, I went to the dollar store and they had one which surprised me. I headed to Dinu and Candice’s house and we had a great time of fellowship watching a movie, they also blessed me with a delicious dinner. It was getting late and I needed to study for a test so they began to grab some of the food from the freezer that they had. I was totally thankful for just that stuff but that wasn’t all they had for me, they had two more boxes full of stuff. I told them thank you and left for home, I happened to think about what my mom had told me that my dad had been praying for. Every time they would pray for their food at the dinner table, my dad was praying that my food would multiply. And I am happy to say that it was answered to overflowing, I have so much food that I won’t have to get groceries for a while.
      
       Some people may disagree with the teachings here at the college, and like I said some people may wonder about my motives of being here and think that the reason God is providing for me is because God is using my “sin” for good.
        Let me tell you, that is the biggest lie I have ever heard in my life. God cannot use sin for good, sin is sin. God hates and rejects sin so why is He going to use it. God turned His back on His only son when Jesus was on the cross taking on all the worlds sin. Why would He look at us and use our sin when He turned His back on Jesus for that one moment. Just as in James 1:13 where it talks about when we are tempted let us not say we are tempted of God, it’s the same way with sin. It doesn't make any sense to say we are sinning for God, and if we do say He uses sin we are practically calling God a sinner. I'm not saying that God wont use the person, cause He will, just not the sin in the persons life. We must turn from our sinful ways for God to use us. The person can use the forgiven, never committed again sin as a testimony of how their life has changed after following Christ, but it shouldn't be the sin that catches our attention, it should be the change that God has brought in that persons life that gets us to change.
        You can take what you want from what I’m learning, make it what you want. You can never be my friend again, or you can open up your heart to who God really is. When Gods son Jesus came and died on the earth for our sins that was for eternity. When Jesus died and rose again He gave us a new covenant as it says in Hebrews 9:11-28. So we no longer need to plead to God for provision and healing because we already got it, we just have to find it! Let me tell you, if I haven't told you all of what I did before coming here, when i was at the churches in the past that taught on judgement and condemnation I was a hypocrite, living the godly life at church and the worldly life outside. Talking the talk but not walking the walk. The relationship I have with God is like nothing I have every experienced before and no one is ever going to take it away from me. No longer do i have a fear of death or persecution like I had before. If ever it got to the point where it was death for believing in God or life renouncing it, I'd 100% choose death.
  I pray that you are blessed by my blogs and that you will take what I have said to heart. God Bless, I love you all!

Christ Rate

Christ Rate
October 24, 2011

      Painted on the wall at church there is a simple word that we call the group for college age and youth… Pulse. As I sat there staring at that I began to think through what I could do for a blog.

      If we place our hand over our hearts or any other main artery on our body we can feel a pulse, there’s no denying what that pulse tells us. It means we are alive and that our heart is working properly to put out blood throughout our bodies to sustain life. Our heart pulses blood through our veins in different speeds, if our heart rate is up then we know our heart is working harder and quicker to keep the blood flowing. And if our heart rate is normal, then we know our body doesn’t need to work overtime.

      So I began to think, what if we lived our lives like Christ is our heart, pulsing His love, strength and kindness through our veins. If you look at a fellow brother or sister in Christ you can almost tell what their Christ rate is, if they are going through life not being courageous or even radical learning more and more about God then we can say that their Christ rate is pretty low, that God isn’t pulsing through their veins at a high rate. Now look at another brother or sister in Christ, they are working hard to grow in their walk with God, ever day they are getting deeper in the word, sharing the true gospel with others. You can see that their Christ rate is high because you see the pulse of God inside of them. You can see the strength that God is giving them to do His works.

        This is just a short blog but I want to leave you with a question. What is your heart beating for, is your heart beating for yourself, or for others? Are you living your life not plugging into the Christ pulse, the pulse that gives you eternal life, the pulse that gives you strength when you are weak, that gives you courage and shines through to others? God calls us to be His light in a dark world, to be shining like the stars. Step out in faith, step out in trusting Him and say Lord whatever you want me to do I am willing, no matter what. And after we live it our when can feel God pulsing through our veins. I did that the other night and I got excited as to what Gods got for me. I know what God has called me to do, I still don’t know the when, where, or how it’s going to happen but I know it will. I know God is going to bless me as I continue on the path of truly trusting Him with everything. If you plug into Christ’s pulse He will change your life forever!

A new revelation every day that keeps me going

A new thought process on how I think and pray

He is there listening, and the answer is yes!

      I just had a crazy past 24hrs, and through it all God was there again as He will be always. I was coming to the end of my stay here at my current residence and I still have no job, or a permanent place to stay. I came to the realization after talking to the wonderful people here that I have till Tuesday to find a new place. So there I was I knew it was coming but it was still like a train wreck of emotions coming in a matter of minutes. In my mind I knew God had a place for me, but then the thoughts of homeless, and living in my car flooded in and started to choke the very thoughts that I knew were true. My mind started going places that weren’t Godly, and I couldn’t understand why it was becoming hard again. When I know I’m in Gods will, and that this is where He wants me to be, why are things taking so long to be accomplished? Why were things becoming hard when every day I get a new revelation as to what God wants for my life?

      I called my parents because I needed someone to tell me it was going to be o.k. I needed something or someone to put my head back on strait. As I talked to my parents, tears flooded down my cheek, emotions came to the surface as I had another realization that besides God and the friends I have here, I am alone. No longer do I have my parent’s right there to give me a hug and tell me it’s ok. No longer when I reach a situation can I pass it onto them for them to sort out, all I have are phone calls. As I talked with my mom I wanted just a mom hug, it’s a feeling of security and strength even in their weakness, it’s a feeling that gives you the strength to walk with your head held high. Here I was huddled in a chair, crying like I haven’t in a couple weeks thinking that in less than a week I’d be homeless. 

     I got off the phone and I knew then what I should have done in the first place. I closed facebook and every other window I had opened, shut down my computer and fell on my knees. All I knew at that point was to just say God I need your help, help me please I need your help. That’s all I could get out, I prayed for housing but still inside I was feeling destroyed. Jesse Duplantis tells of a time he was conversing with God, when God said is he going let his faith stagnate. That rang in my mind, was I letting my faith stagnate, jumping onto cruise control and just coasting.  I lay in bed and immediately thought of my friend, he’s in a house, rent free, for as long as he wants. And here I am facing one of the biggest things in my life so far to deal with. Why couldn’t I have been blessed that much too where I was care free pretty much. Why couldn’t God bless me with something so easy for Him to do? What one of my instructors said immediately came into mind. And it’s something that I put in a previous blog. I was getting jealous over another man’s blessing. After that came into my mind I prayed and asked God’s forgiveness for my selfish actions, and thanked God for blessing my friend and that the same or better blessing would come my way. I was finally able to sleep, and woke up this morning ready to start asking people for available housing.

         I went through the first hour thinking of who all I could ask, and who all I could connect with. All while listening to Andrew Wommack talking about finances and giving during tough times. I already had 100 fold return of giving, and been repaid 100 fold from the devils theft of money through sickness and needing of medication through an unexpected card in the mail including the combined total of each. So I knew giving and returns worked, but here I was, with my money even tighter, and being called to trust God even more with my finances. Almost reluctant, yet fully believing on a full return, above and beyond I gave because I knew God would honor it. Now Andrew wasn’t trying to take what money people have, He has a lesson that talks about how giving to God is the easiest thing to do, and it takes the littlest amount of faith for God to increase.

    I talked to a few people, put a note on the bulletin board and started walking toward my class when a lady who I met during campus days said hi and asked how I was doing. I hesitated to say the full story, but how are you going to get the word out if you don’t share? How are people going to pray for your situation and back you up if they don’t know? I told her everything and didn’t really know where it would lead. She then encouraged me and backed me up in faith, I was still feeling down until she encouraged me. I had a ‘wow’ moment of why God says to fellowship with people who will encourage and keep you strong in the faith. I walked toward my class with my head held higher and my heart reset on the goal at hand.

    The third hour of school was filled with more teachings, but a part stood out among the rest. Greg Mohr started talking about how we pray for things we need. Often times we find ourselves coming to God and only asking for enough to cover our needs, instead of asking for more. When we ask God for things that we need, why don’t we pray for so much increase that we can them bless someone else with our overflow. That hit me hard, I was just praying for my needs. He said that when we only pray for our needs we really our being selfish to what God can do, that our blessing is only that, ours.

    By the end of the third hour I was set on getting a place by the time I left that building, I had another opportunity to volunteer in the production department, but I didn’t have to be there till 12:30. I walked into the student service room, and walked out with a temporary housing, and a possible permanent one. Only through Gods guidance and direction.

    It’s crazy how God works, He doesn’t work in mysterious ways, He just works in ways that are easy to see and understand. I walked back toward the production department, no longer in desperate need of housing, no longer worried or stressed over what I’m going to do. I sit down to start working and right in front of me was a tv and cd series that Andrew has called, “you already have it.” I couldn’t help but smile and get a little emotional over the fact that I already had what I was asking God for last night. Why was I so worried and distraught over everything?  Again I know every day that this is where I need to be, this is where God has called me to be. Through the struggles and difficulties I know God has my steps ordered, He knows everything that I need and so much more. Every day I walk out of the school with a different level of understanding. I can’t wait to see the full picture of where God is leading me, but I know wherever He takes me, I know I will be provided for above and beyond my actual needs. So then I can take all I’ve learned and all I know and invest in someone else’s life. And dont forget that the same feeling I get from a hug from my mom or dad, you and I can get from our heavenly father. He's there stretching out his arms welcoming you under His comforting and protectinve wings. Thanks again for reading and I pray that God will bless you through reading this, as much as God has blessed me to write it. 

Jesus talks about the lost son

Jesus talks about the parable of the lost son.
Week 2

            As I start my second week in Charis Bible College I’m in awe of what I know I’m going to learn. Through the teachings and the work that they have us do, I feel so blessed to have such a great opportunity from God. A guest speaker Jessie Duplantis was there last night at my church, and this morning at the college. What he shared was incredible and such a message from God. He shared many things, almost too much to write down but not to take to heart. Through everything that was said, it was understandable, and true to whom God really is.
        
           He asked husbands and wife’s if they have ever bought anything for each other or their children that the other person didn’t need. Then he asked grandparent if they have ever bought their grandkids anything they didn’t need. Everybody raised their hand. Now you may ask, why he would ask something like that. We buy things for people we love, we know they may not need it but we know how much they want it. Then he said something that is so true. If we buy things for the people that we love, even if we don’t need it. Why can’t God be like us, why can’t He be a father that loves us and wants to bless us with things? We are called His children, why don’t we call Him our father?  If we do call God our father, why is He only a God of judgment and wrath? That doesn’t sound like a father that sounds like an abuser. God wants to bless us with what we want so we never have a need. When we ask God for things it’s not being prideful, we are simply His children coming to our father. And if someone says asking God for things is prideful. Say it could be growth. When I say growth I’m not talking about growth in the eyes of man. Because then we will become prideful with all we have and lose sight on what Gods plan is.

         Jessie taught today of the parable of the lost son. If you don’t know the story it starts off with Jesus talking about a man with two sons, the younger son asked his father to give him his share of his father estate. The son’s father then divided his property between both sons. Later on the youngest son gathered all he had, set off towards a distant land, and lost all he had worthless living. After the son had spent all he had there was a severe famine in the land. He later came to his senses and thought he could get a job working for his father, because he felt unworthy to be called his father’s son. As the son was still a far way out his father saw him coming in the distance and ran to him, and embraced him. In Luke chapter 15 verse 21 we see the son’s response to his father’s actions “The son said to him, ‘father I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” But instead of being angry with his son the father said in the following verse, “Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fatted calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is now found.” What would your first reaction be if your son came home after being gone, and told you he lost every penny that you had given him? My first reaction would be anger; here is my son who did nothing but waist all I’ve given him on worthless earthly things. But no the father throws a celebration for him, gives him the best robe he has, puts a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet, and kills the best calf he has for the meal.
       
             You may be asking or wondering if you don’t know the story where the eldest son is during all this, you may think he is celebrating too because his brother has returned. No, he is outside in the field angry. His little brother comes home after spending his riches on ‘prostitutes’ as he says and his father throws him a party. When all this time he the older son has spent his life following his father and obeying his every order, never got a party. In verse 31 the father reply’s to the older son, he says “my son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is now alive again; he was lost and is now found.”

             Now here is where my question comes in. Jesus himself told us this parable.  Why is it that when someone close to us falls away from God, do we think there is no help for them? Why do we kick them to the curb and forget about them instead of going to them and helping them with their fall. Also, when we see someone get a raise or bonus on a job, or someone who is healed of a sickness do we feel selfish, because you may be asking for the same thing? Why can’t we be blessed by their blessing? When you see someone’s gain, you never lose.  Why is it when a friend says he got a job after waiting a long time do we say ‘man that’s a blessing’ even when we don’t mean it? Why can’t we give them a high five and celebrate even though you may have waited longer and may still be waiting for a job? As I said before you can never lose with someone else’s gain, you can celebrate with them, then feed off of it by saying Father thank you for blessing them with a job, thank you for the job that you have provided for me, bless me as much as you have blessed them. Let God be the loving Father He wants to be, let Him bless you with things you may not need, but want. Let God give you rest as it says in Psalms 23. Thanks for reading and I hope God blesses you with an abundance of joy and rest as much as He is showing me.

Day 2, trip across america

Day 2
our journey across America

As I sit here in my dad’s truck, riding along going 60 down I-80 I started to think. Before we left my dad and I were talking and he mentioned how it wasn’t easy to figure out how we were going to pack up my stuff and just leave.  I told him try moving 1300 miles away from your family and friends, when I said that I got a little choked up. I am moving 1300 miles away from everyone I know, and from an area that I’ve grown up all my life in. And my dad was right it was not easy. I went and grabbed a few more things to load into the truck, and when I got back he told me that in the bible God told Abraham to leave his family and move away, God didn’t tell him where he was going. God simply told him to leave, so Abraham did. Abraham packed up all his things, told his wife and they left. Abraham had to have such a huge faith in God to just leave, he had to be so involved in doing what God wanted him to do to leave everyone he knew and the area he knew. My dad then said at least we know where we’re going, that was very true.

           God placed on my heart a year ago after dealing with struggles and coming out closer to God to help those who have the same struggles. To help teens figure out whom they are in Christ, and to help them deal with past or currant problems. I didn’t think I was worth anything because I saw my life going nowhere, I was entering my senior year of high school thinking I was going to work in a factory, lead a boring terrible life, and never have what my heart desires for. I was blaming God for everything I was going through, expecting my life to be easy. I didn’t want to blame myself for what I was watching, or listening to. I still thought I saw myself as a good person because I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart. I finally realized after reaching what I call my rock bottom that I was using Jesus Christ and what He did for me as a fire insurance policy, my one way ticket out of hell. I would do something I knew in my heart was wrong, ask for forgiveness, then keep on living my life. Now don’t read that and think wow he is messed up. No, what I’m saying is I would ask forgiveness for that sin but commit it again the next day or even in the same day. I had issues with conforming to the people around me, what they were saying or the jokes they would say. I know we all struggle with crude jokes, we laugh and think its funny, but later we know it was wrong. I thought I was pretty low, I felt like a hypocrite going to church every Sunday and Wednesday, but acting like the world every other day of the week. I thought God was making my life miserable. I blamed God for everything that I was going through. I didn’t think I would ever amount to anything in this life so why live it. I had thoughts of suicide but could never actually harm myself. I thought about joining any branch of military just so I could get shot and die, I thought no one would miss me. That was the best way I could think of to do. Then at least I would die as a hero fighting for my country instead of just another suicide statistic. No one would know my actual intentions.

Through all I was going through emotionally and physically God kept telling me He was there. He kept giving me a nudge every now and then. That’s what I couldn’t figure out at first. Why would a God that I blamed everything on, and told if He just placed me on this earth to be miserable and that I could do that just fine myself keep coming at me? Why would a perfect God keep coming after an imperfect me?
A phrase that continued to echo through my mind and a picture was Jesus standing in front of me, with His arms stretched out saying, “do you trust me.” As Christians we look at that and go yeah we trust Him, isn’t that what being a Christ follower is about? Here I was saying I was a Christian but I couldn’t say I could trust Him. I couldn’t understand why God would be asking me if I could trust Him when I was blaming Him for everything. I like to put it this way, we breathe in air but we can’t see it. We trust the air is there even when we can only see the effects of it. That’s how I like to view God, but look at it from where I was. I couldn’t see God but somehow I could see the effects of Him through others live. I saw people changing, and becoming closer to God. Why couldn’t I do the same? It’s because I didn’t trust Him, it takes faith to trust in God and what He is doing, and it takes a trust in God to have faith. It’s like a pattern that just keeps going. If you don’t have the faith, then you won’t have the trust. If you don’t have a trust in the faith God calls us to have, then you won’t have faith in him to trust what He is doing. After I had pondered that I realized what I was doing. I was living a no fault religion, everything I was doing I didn’t want to take blame for it.  

       Now I’m not saying we all have to reach that point where we have to change our thinking and mindset so much that we feel like we’ll never measure up. Because of all that I did before I got to the point of actual surrender, it would be a lie to say that it didn’t leave a big scar. But through Jesus Christ and what He did on the cross for me, He took that scar and the punishment for that scar. So I wouldn’t have to live in bondage.


End of day 3 of travels
Finally here….

         As I sit here tonight getting ready for bed I can’t help but think back to what had happened just hours ago. We finally made it into Colorado Springs; we were all tired from being on the road since 9:30 a.m. central time. (8:30 a.m. Mountain time) Stress levels were high, emotions were running high, and we just wanted to sleep. As we dropped the tow dolly off at the U-Haul rental place my car was already hot from being towed through 100 degree heat almost all day, combined with being behind my dad’s truck getting the exhaust heat as well. As we were weaving our way through the hills to get to the house that I’m staying at I almost forgot about the heat. We drove through the neighborhood but could not find the right house number. I parked my car leaving it running and walked back to my moms car to talk to her. After maybe 5 minutes I look over and see smoke pouring from under my hood, and a wet puddle slowly making its way down the street. I race over and the first thing I did was shut my engine off, that’s all I knew to do! I jumped out of my car and picked up the hood as fast as I could, I didn’t care that everything around the smoke was extremely hot. I could see boiling liquid and steam coming out of my coolant container as my dad ran up from where the truck was parked to see what was going on. I didn’t know what to think, I wanted to yell, scream, cry, kick anything including my car, and go off on a complete rage. As my dad looked over my car, thoughts of hopelessness and doubt flooded through my mind, we had gone all this way and now something went what seemed to be terribly wrong. It’s a blessing kept running through my mind, from the very beginning I referred to my car as a blessing from God. I knew immediately that I needed to pray instead of drowning my thoughts with doubt. I believe strongly in the power of prayer and what it can do if you have the faith to believe that God will answer. I could hear my dad praying, and knew I should too. I walked around my car and placed my hands on my car and prayed.

    

              As we become closer to God we realize how easy it is to come to God opened minded. We have a better understanding of who God really is. God is our healer, our provider, our deliverer, our father, our friend, and many other things as well. When all this was happening why was my first reaction fear and doubt? Why when I’m coming to Charis Bible College does something go wrong when we are this close? I 100% do not believe God made my car overheat, just so I could learn a lesson. Situations beyond our control due to the heat and some because of my lack of knowledge still with cars caused my car to overheat. God didn’t cause doubt, fear, and rage to come to my mind. It was the lack of sleep, stress, and heat that caused us all to become vulnerable to Satan’s attack to try to discourage us. The reason why my heart and mind went to that panic state was because I haven’t arrived in my walk with God, I am learning new and greater things every day. But that doesn’t mean my life is going to be easy all the time, Satan will always be prowling around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Through Gods help and through a better knowledge of God’s word those attacks will be easier. As this day closes I know I have a bright future here in Colorado. I know when my parents leave there may be a few tears shed but I know I’ll meet many new friends, all while knowing my friends now will never leave my side. I leave you with a question. Are you willing to trust God enough to move 1100 miles away from everything you know? Are you willing to get where you’re going to have your car overheat and keep your eyes and thoughts on God? Can you really trust someone you can’t see in the natural, possibly only through a glimpse of some one’s life in front of you? I know my answer because I’m living it, but that glimpse of God through some one’s life is no longer that, it’s more. Through everything that I learn I get closer to God, through every step out of a no fault religion I feel more conviction that brings about a better change. And through every trial I prevail comes countless blessings from my heavenly father. I want to know your answer, if it’s yes, keep moving forward. If it’s no, I want to help you get to the point where you can see God and know He is a good God. Thank you for reading this note, and if it’s changed your life then I want to hear about it and celebrate! May you be blessed, and have a fulfilled life.

Note By
Tyler Showers
August 31-September 1^st 2011